Robbin' Tha Hood

To fully appreciate this story, let me start from the beginning...

On the day after Christmas 2008, I got a call from my buddy George Loeffler to meet at Best Buy because we hadn't seen each other in weeks. Now, I've got two roommates: Jose Torres, who I call "Beaner", and Kandis Kelly, who I've known for 12 years or more. At this particular time (8:30PM or so) Jose was in Cleveland visiting his mother and daughter and Kan was asleep in her bedroom with her short-haired dachshund Sadie (who is absolutely useless as a guard dog, I might add).

I left in my green 2000 Ford Focus, my fifth vehicle so far in this life, and drove the 10-15 minute drive to Best Buy. As soon...AND I MEAN AS SOON as I got there and met up with George, who I call "Jorje" though he isn't Hispanic, I got a call from Jose. He had got home maybe 5 minutes after I'd left and found most of our electronics missing and our back door flung wide open. Jorje and I sped back to my trailer in the boondocks of Conroe and saw that it was true: we had been robbed. Kandis was now awake and in a panic, but this wasn't surprising. She is a very emotional person. Jose and I inventoried our losses: a DVD player, an XBox 360, 5 XBox games, a PlayStation2, and 4 PlayStation games.

I was at a loss for words, wondering who would have the audacity to break into my trailer with Kan's car parked out front. At first I suspected Beaner, who has a history (and felony) for breaking and entering as well as theft. I apologized to him and asked to search his truck, which he patiently endured. Though our shit wasn't in his truck, I still suspected him. But we also had another suspect...an 18 or 19 year old punk named Matthew who lived in the trailer across the dirt road from us. He was the only person in the park who had been inside my trailer other than the landlords Garland and Sherrie Barnett.

I angrily approached Matthew's neighbors, who were standing outside and having a smoke, and asked them if they had seen anyone enter my house. They all said "no" and I asked if there was anyone in the park who was known for being a thief. "Matthew", they said.

And so I went back to the trailer and the four of us (myself, Beaner, Kan, and Jorje) voted whether to call the cops or storm Matt's trailer and search for our shit. In the end, reason was the victor and the cops were called, though they did shit about it. And I knew before the laws were even called that nothing would be done. I know the cops in this county. I know them very well. But that's another story for another day.

So, after our worthless cop bailed, giving me a case number that I immediately threw away knowing I'd never be contacted by an investigator, we accepted that we'd been robbed and would not get our shit back. We went on with our lives...

Then came February 8, 2009. Nearly two months later, Matt robbed another trailer...and was caught. He fled the trailer park and called Garland, who immediately evicted him and his mother. Matt told Garland he was going to come back to the park and burn it down. Garland came to my house and woke me up to recruit me to help him defend the trailer park. A group of the men of the park waited in the road for hours for Matt to show up. Many of us had guns (not me, due to my own felony background). Matt never showed and eventually everyone went inside their homes to sleep.

At midnight, I decided to show Matt and his thieving fucking family how it felt to be robbed. When Beaner came home, I recruited him to break into Matt's trailer and we did, taking his TV, two DVD players, an air-soft pistol (which I keep in my glove compartment), and a few cell phones. I told Beaner to get rid of the loot before the sun came up in case of an investigation so he took his share away and did who knows with it. I took my share and discarded it at the front door of the Salvation Army, because the theft I committed was meant to be just and had I kept the loot for myself, the act would have lost it's meaning.

And so I robbed a thief and gave his possessions to the poor....

Fucker...